Monday, September 08, 2008

FEELING SO BLUE...



SORRY FOR THE gap in blogging... I just couldn't bring myself to write about anything upbeat at this moment. Things are just so rough for Joe and me. Joe has been on heavy pain meds to mask the excruciating back and stomach pain but they're not really helping. At this time, I am hoping for a miracle since he refused to see his oncologist. I've tried to convince him and every time I mention about doctors or hospitalization he shuts me off. I.feel.so.frustrated! Sigh... I've been calling my mom in the Phillipines crying and asking her to pray for him. My job offers a Work Life Assist program at no cost and I've been thinking about calling the hotline for a much needed counseling.

The amazing thing is he gets up each morning and tries to be upbeat and he wants me to do the same. He's been enjoying fishing lately. His 13 year old nephew Troy will be over tonight and he's really looking forward to fish with him tomorrow.

I'm stepping off my soapbox now... I hope everyone had a wonderful summer! I, for one, am ready to embrace cooler weather. I've have been knitting again and I went to the attic last night and grabbed a few of my cross stitch projects that I've been meaning to finish. I have also been organizing and decluttering the kitchen to keep my mind occupied.

11 comments:

Brenda said...

I worked through a lot of issues when I quilted. I would weave that quilting needle in and out of the fabric with that rocking motion. And my mind would just travel in a meditative fashion. So your needlework should help put you in the best frame of mind that is possible at this difficult time. Also take a walk, anything to get your body and mind going and get those endorphins pumping. My love to you, Connie, and a big hug for Joe.
Brenda

Alex said...

I'm so sorry for all that you and Joe are going through. I cannot even begin to imagine what you're feeling right now. Please hang in there...you have friends and family that care. If you want to talk, email, and I'll send you my phone # to call me. I mean that. You hang in there.

**BIG HUGS**

Debbie in CA : ) said...

Hi Sweet Friend,

I have been missing you lately around the blogdom. I pray for you without ceasing. Just this afternooon as I was grousing about my aching gum (which by the way has been taken care of -- popcorn hull gone, thank you hygienist), I stopped and thought about the chronic pain that Joe feels, and you in turn feel acutely, though second hand. I prayed.

When I saw you pop up on the feeds I rushed over to see you. I'm here with LOTS of PINK to help overcome those blues. (I think you'll probably end up lavender ... but every little bit helps, right?)

I wish we lived closer so we could share a cup of tea and a real HUG. With a continent's width of land separating us I am once again grateful for the internet.

So ... here's a bundle of hugs and kisses wrapped in prayers: (((xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox)))

You're loved lots! : )

g said...

Hi, connie,

so sorry to hear how tough it is for Joe. He is so lucky to have you there for him. It's good for him to have fun things to do like fishing, but he really needs to get serious and care for himself. or if he has decided he is not going to follow the treatment, then he needs to figure out a plan that helps you and the other people who love him work through it with him.

it's only fair. I dont' know if there is a counselor in your neighborhood who can help? Or a pastor or priest?

Anyway, best wishes to you both. You are a jewel for being his support and his love.

Bless you.

Mari said...

So sorry to hear about Joe. It must be hard for him to try to numb the pain; tough for you as well. He is lucky to have you who cares a lot for him.

Hugs.

Beverly said...

I just stopped in to see how you both are. I'm so sad to read what a hard time you are having. Have they given him any explanation for the pain?

There are so many emotional stages of illness. Follow your heart, and seek out some help for yourself. You deserve the support.

I will keep you in my prayers.

CIELO said...

Look up, look up, and let your faith continually increase. Let this faith guide you along the narrow path that leads through the gates of the city into the great beyond, the wide, unbounded future of glory that is for the redeemed....

I'm praying for you two

cielo

Alex said...

Hi Connie, just stopping by to say hello. *hugs*

Debbie said...

Hi Connie,

It is so nice to see you, I missed seeing you.

I'm so sorry Joe is experiencing so much pain. And I know through times like you're experiencing can be so difficult and scary.

I'm praying for you and Joe as you walk through these tough times.

Hugs and Love,

Debbie

Nance said...

Hi Connie,
Hang in there my friend. If you need somebody to talk to, just let me know. My brother-in-law had the same problem and it was hard on my sister. We were constantly talking, they live in Germany.
My thoughts and prayers are for both of you.
Lots of hugs from me.
nance

Alex said...

Thinking of you, Connie.
*hugs*